Experience: In a relationship, but…
….book a gigolo anyway?
Sometimes, just like that, just in between, I like to key in a word in Google. A word that says what I feel at that moment. Like ‘happy’ or ‘restless’ or ‘enthusiastic’ and then it is sometimes surprising what you get to read or where you end up.
Today I decided to key in the word ‘gigolo’, not fully thought through but born out of a general feeling of dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction with my sex life… I have a very sweet husband and we have a great time together, but sexually we are not on the same page. Together for over 22 years now and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
But the impotence is getting bigger, the suppression of my sexual desires only grows. In the distant past I have cheated, a phase in which it would be decided whether or not we would continue with each other. This brought more restlessness and sadness than pleasure. Moreover, you treat each other disrespectfully because it is almost inevitable that it is someone you know. I still stand behind my decision, namely that I chose my sweetheart. The firm agreement never to do this again is easy to maintain if this is what you clearly agree with yourself.
My 48th birthday is now approaching and I have had a burnout. Peace returns and so do my intense feelings of lust. Over the years I’ve become a star at masturbating and that’s good. You get to know your body well, you can have the wildest fantasies and you create your own dream world. But more and more I started to feel very empty afterwards. Yes, you get older with everything that comes with it, that’s totally fine with me, except for one thing….will I never be loved the way I want to be loved? Is this it now forever?? I long for ‘enjoyment together’ so much…
This feeling grew stronger and stronger and my biggest fear grew: that I would cheat again… Because of my own business I meet many men. And believe me, men are so much easier -married or unmarried- to try and seduce you. Fortunately, I have always been clear and the tension has been reduced considerably. Still….I didn’t trust myself anymore.
Okay, so I typed in the word ‘gigolo’. You end up at various sites with articles and gigolos. Very nice to read, very exciting to read, and I keep reading, especially on Rene’s site. All those references…and I noticed that I got a feeling of jealousy that these women have already had such a fantastic experience had. The feeling grew and grew, not in terms of days but in terms of minutes. Would this be the solution for me?
Because yes… I have my own business and a fantastic relationship so I have a lot to lose. It is therefore extremely important that it is a very reliable person. I also noticed that this felt less disrespectful than cheating. He doesn’t know my partner, it’s clear what I’m here for and there are no emotional complications afterwards.
As these thoughts swirled through my head I noticed I was already typing, yes, already writing to Rene!! And before I knew it I had email contact with him. It felt liberating and the nice thing about email is that you dare to say more.
As promised, you will receive photos after the first contact and how wonderful to see such a smiling, charming man who stimulates your imagination. I got all excited and before I knew it I started emailing him my wishes and fantasies. Well, and then the send button is clicked in no time. Once I came to my senses I was ashamed, phew! The lust came out and I wanted to undo my emails!!! Fortunately, I received a reassuring sweet email back from Rene, that it was all right, my awakening and lust were allowed and he treated this very respectfully.
I was amazed at myself for expressing very intimate wishes to a still total stranger… But maybe that’s why?! No load on whether or not you come across well, no load on whether you can ask this and whether this disrupts the relationship. No, because Rene is there for you and he is a man with a lot of experience and skill, if I were to believe the references. The appointment was made.
Unfortunately I had to be patient before the date finally came into view. Of course many uncertainties play through your head, ‘What would it be like, after so many years with another man? Isn’t it bad that I’m a bit older?’. I regularly stood in front of the mirror, you suddenly look at yourself very critically, no of course, I’m not 20 anymore… It helped to tell myself how I would see it myself. Well…I would rather have someone let themselves go with me than someone looking perfect. With this I talked myself into courage and also with all my insecurities I could go to Rene. Sometimes you need that extra support and it helps to name it. Rene effortlessly brushed aside all my insecurities, despite that he didn’t even know what I looked like. Very nice….
Now for an alibi… I’m off. Scheduled a day full of clients and then so-called out with my girlfriend, then the few lost hours are not noticed at home, lost hours that would become the most precious hours of my day if not my sex life for me.
After a morning and afternoon of running back and forth, I did indeed have to run for the appointment with Rene. No, I didn’t have time for anticipation that day and was completely in my head and not in my body. Fortunately, Rene had arranged everything for me, the hotel, room number via text message and even how I could walk directly to the room….completely anonymous.
After parking the car, walking fast down the hallway, I felt my heart pounding and too many thoughts rushing through my head, ‘You know…. I’m not even excited anymore, I just feel tension, it’s not really necessary anymore, why should I take the risk, etc’.
But my position is always; better a wrong decision than no decision, so I keep going. I arrived at the door, lifted my hand, make a fist to knock and I hear a knock, no…not my hand, because it is still hovering a few centimeters above the door, no, it is my heart. My heart is racing and I can’t calm myself down. Suddenly, in an inattentive moment, I feel my fist knocking on the door….
The door opens and a sweet smiling, attractive man gives me a warm welcome and lets me in. The light is dimmed, candles are burning, and it smells pleasant. He grants my wishes from the first minute, so I snuggle into his arms and hold him tightly. Oh how good he feels, how good he smells.. I didn’t even give him the chance to take my cardigan. We hold each other tight and my heart is still beating, very violently and Rene names it. A lovely voice that talks sweetly to me.
My heart transitions flawlessly to thump of excitement, to thump of arousal. Ooooh what a wonderful man to hold. He has the gift of getting you excited and calm at the same time. I press against him and he against me and I also feel his wonderful excitement. Still wearing my cardigan and now completely overheated, I fumble it out as quickly as possible, not wanting to lose contact with him. Our hips pressed against each other and to feel it all as best as possible, he puts me against the wall. I feel wonderfully light-headed and feel support from the wall so that I don’t fall over with excitement when he slowly unbuttons my blouse. I left my bra at home because this was my fantasy. Breathing fast, I stood there leaning against the wall with my blouse wide open, my breasts exposed and ready to receive…
For a moment when I had written all my wishes to Rene I was afraid that it would kill the spontaneity and excitement, after all it is also nice to be surprised. But nothing could be further from the truth, because Rene weaves your wishes perfectly into a beautiful course of sexual and sensual tension and everything feels natural….it goes as it should. Details, order, time… I can’t tell you exactly because it’s one wave of pleasure in which everything is mixed up and no longer exists. The only thing left is to enjoy….
Leaning against the wall, with my blouse open, gasping for breath, I feel his hands, his mouth, his tongue…amazing!!! My head no longer exists, only my body. I let go of everything and my fantasy and reality move on, I feel his hands on my shoulders pushing me down directly and forcefully and I get on my knees. With trembling fingers I loosen his belt, loosen his pants and remove anything that gets in the way and press my mouth against his lovely hard cock. I feel his firm muscled buttocks and am completely absorbed in the sucking. My tongue explores every shape…..so hard, so stiff that it’s all tight against his stomach and I have to grab it really tight to get it all the way into my mouth. A delicious cock that will soon spoil me enormously. I’m getting hornier and hornier and can’t wait anymore and Rene feels, feels what I need. With exciting directness he lays me down on the bed, pushes my knees up and forcefully pushes me towards him by my thighs. Only thought I have left is, ‘Take me’! Oh yesss, Rene, take me!!’. And yes, Rene reads minds and I can feel his lovely erect cock slide all the way in, deep, hard and horny. He gives my pussy the chance to feel every sensation and holds it still for a moment, deep inside me….. God how horny!!!
After this wave of horniness he starts to move wonderfully, I feel his body all over me, hold me and fuck me…he fucks me so good that I go into a wonderful orgasm faster than I am used to, one of many that still follow. I enjoy being completely out of control, he decides when I cum, he knows exactly how to exite me. His rhythm, his thrusts, the variety….wonderfully filled…indescribably good I am taken.
Then he slides his cock out of my pussy and before I can come to, I feel his firm hands on my legs, he lifts my hips into a certain position and starts fingering me incredibly nice, so fierce, so horny and he hits places which I have never found myself. It feels very intense, completely out of control and I come squirting. I’m wet, soaking wet, take a breath, feel myself sliding back on the bed after which his delicious cock slides back in and he fucks me again. The world no longer exists, all I can do is moan, pant, enjoy and he pushes me from one orgasm to the next..
After this impetuous acquaintance, which turned out to be just the beginning, there was a break in the form of a wonderful massage. Still enjoying and recovering from all the orgasms and new experiences, I let myself be pampered by his soft, tender caresses and massaging hands. Sooooo incredibly delicious and special. Your body is then so sensitive and feels everything squared. Soft music in the background, candles… everything so perfect. This extensive, relaxing massage transitioned effortlessly into an erotic and body to body massage. The boundaries were gone and I couldn’t help but get all excited again.
Lying on my back I felt Rene slide down. He spreads my legs and for the first time in years I feel a tongue caressing my clit. Oh Rene, really… so intense. I myself need a violent vibration, in the form of a toy, if I want to come clitorially, but Rene clearly knew what he was doing and I could scream with pleasure. Oh I can’t contain it all anymore, everything is so intense, so good, so exciting, so horny and I let myself be spoiled, I let myself go completely. Everything comes over me like a tsunami, he keeps spoiling me with his hands, his cock, toys, everything mixed up and me, I’m completely blown away and the orgasms can’t be counted because you can’t do anything more than just enjoy , moan, pant and call his name. It became one big journey of discovery of new experiences, the details of which I will not even mention…
And then we lie in each other’s arms and enjoy, recover and I feel wonderfully at ease and we talk. I feel wonderfully satisfied. I fantasized a lot beforehand, but this is so intense, you can’t even fantasize. How many times I’ve thought while masturbating and fantasizing, ‘oh well… don’t kid yourself, there’s no man who can give you this’. But with Rene you even get so much more….
Slowly we feel our bodies recovering, waking up again, more than waking up again. I feel excitement, excitement at the thought that he will still fulfill my tentative wish (which I had written to him about and which ended in a yes-no story)….
I kiss and caress his beautiful muscular body which turns me on and take his cock in my mouth, that cock that can satisfy me so much and Rene tells me what he’s going to do. I feel how I’m going to suck even more passionately and I enjoy. Everything that sometimes seemed too exciting via email, I am now impatiently waiting for: to be fucked in the ass, yes, now there is nothing more than this man filling all my holes, nothing more than that he initiates me in anal sex.
He lays me on my back and prepares me for a new adventure. Gently I feel his finger go in with a lot of lube. And not only his finger, but also the slightly cool lubricant feels incredibly good in my ass. So new, but so spectacular and exciting. He senses my relaxation and that everything is going well, and also asks if everything is going well. Yes, it’s going well, it’s even going very well. He puts a pillow under my ass, pushes my legs up and presses his cock against my asshole, gently pressing, gently sliding in, further and further, until he’s all the way deep inside me, watching me to see if I’m okay. So soft, so hard and tender at the same time, but so intense….
He gives me a chance to get used to, and this was necessary, a flash of pain comes over me, as if my body suddenly realizes that there is something big and hard in my ass. After Rene’s reassuring words that I should let this go for a while, I also allow this pain. I notice how much I trust him and how much I feel completely comfortable with him. I look at him and suddenly there’s an indescribable feeling.. The pain turns into an overwhelming good feeling, like I’m getting a shot of drugs running through my whole body (not that I’ve ever done drugs, but I can’t describe otherwise). I feel lightheaded, take off and experience the best pleasure ever! I hear my voice calling in the distance, “Fuck me!”, and let him take me anally wonderfully
It’s a sensation which I cannot place and which I have never experienced before and I only know that it is incredibly super horny and delicious!! I wanted to experience anal because it would give me mental satisfaction; being taken in all holes, surrendering completely. But it’s so much more. Physically it is so intense, so satisfying and it ignited the fire in me. I feel him thrusting into me and it’s soooo good, like my whole body is being fucked, I feel heavenly, I feel myself rising and I can’t help but cum huge. It is even so intense that I come squirting! I feel it running wet along my now sensitive lips, along his cock, thrusting inside, something that turns me on so much that I get another orgasm.. Gasping for breath from this overwhelming experience, my body shudders.
I feel deflowered, I feel wonderfully taken and I feel like the happiest woman in the world. Carefully he slips out of me again, I wash myself and crawl into him completely, blissful!!!! We talk and name the special moment. Yes, Rene has a knack for making you feel very special and reading you and he will only go as far as you want it to. He listens to your body, what it indicates without having to say it and will never cross a line in it.
But the afternoon is not over yet. He continues to caress and love with the climax: cumming together. He lies on his back, I sit in front of him. He knows how to position my body perfectly so that I sit comfortably, feel his fingers go inside and I jerk off his cock. Together in a violent rhythm we move and both come squirting. So beautiful, so much fun together… I realized that I had never jerked off a man and enjoyed that everything goes so naturally. Everything is right, everything can be there..
Everything with Rene feels natural, good and incredibly exciting and nice. We are still enjoying ourselves and I realize that it is already late and that I have to go. I take a shower alone, and another light moan escapes me as I run my hands over my deliciously fucked body. No place has gone unloved. It just feels good…
Once back in the room, Rene had already dressed and we chat a bit to give the whole thing a good ending. While chatting, he peels the mandarin oranges I brought for us and eats them all. I needed it after such a smashing lovemaking. I came for the sex, but Rene gave me so much more, I came for the sex but effortlessly you get intimacy.
Once home, my story is not over yet. Since I just came out of a burnout situation and I didn’t feel completely stable yet, it turns out that I had gained a lot in that too. I radiated again, felt confident and felt resilient again in every way. I was able to completely discharge myself.
I sit next to my sweetheart on the couch and caress his cheek. He looks at me and says surprised, “How sweet you are?”. I smile back. The sexual frustration is gone. He can be who he is and I can be who I am. I can be gentle and tender to him again and my anger has subsided, it’s all right, and no man can seduce me anymore, the danger has passed. It’s my secret, no one has to know, no one has to judge, it is what is…..
And you know, even if I were single, know that I would still book Rene, because you should allow yourself such lovemaking, know how beautiful and delicious it can be. Spending hours in paradise, how fantastic is that! Rene is the best gift a woman can give herself. My smile never fades from my face and I am very grateful for this memory, which I can go back to at any time…
L.